I don't know what I'd do without her.
Awoken for the umpteenth time at eight this morning by the dogs, I was fuming with fury yet again. Then just as I'd finally dosed off, some random woman rings the bell downstairs. C had gone out to walk the dogs, so couldn't open the door for her.
So, once again, I had to clog out the bed put pants and my camouflage cap on. First off, the deaf dame wouldn't hear me yell questions at her through the door
which pissed me off additionally to the sleep deprivation
. So I let her in and stomped off back upstairs.
She grumbled after me; "So, should I sit down here then?" indicating to the living room. "You might as well," Good thing I held my furious tongue and didn't continue with "Or you can go back and wait outside, if you prefer the outdoors."
Then C walks upstairs to poke me for some emailed documents, and by then I was in one of my well-rehearsed 'moods'.
C: "Sorry to be a pest, honey, but I really need those documents."
Y: "Well, we all need
things. I need not get woken up at eight every morning." I don't recall the volume of that last bit, but I think some wine glasses cracked downstairs. *blush* I was a damn right old misanthropic bitch.
This is what happens with us. Sometimes, should the mood strikes us, we rage and fume and throw things about, only to chill out and say sorry right afterwards. Nothing ever lingers. Later that day, C comes in, without any blame or anger; we had planned to go to the cinema.
C: "Hey, what are we going to see?"
don't think anything is on
C: "What about that superhero thing? Ha
Y: "Hancock? Meh, probably
I just don't wanna go see anything."
C: "Aw, are you sure?"
C closes the door. Reopens it a few moments later: "Are you sure? It will make you feel better; afterwards we can talk about training the dogs.. you haven't been outside for weeks."
Much later, towards the night, when I was feeling better, she pulled me out of my room and we watched 'Nothing' (2003)
. It was nice. I apologized for being a bitch and she was awesome about it. She didn't blame me, or shame me in any way.
I just love my Stepmum. She's the only person who wholeheartedly
accepts and understands who I really
am, gives me space and fills it when needed. She's changed me for the better and I'd like to think there is some reciprocal impact on my part too. Truth is, I don't know where I'd be without her. It's highly probable that that place wouldn't be anywhere good
Y: "Aw man, sorry for being a bitch. And thank you for being so awesome."
C: "Aw, it's ok. You are awesome."
Y: "No, you are awesome." (rince and repeat)
Her hugs are the best.
Meh, hopefully I can make up for my behaviour by keeping a better check on my emotions in the future and not flinging blame willy nilly. *sigh*
~Yel. dA Buddies